Death has been on my mind recently. Whether it be because I’ve been watching too many violent television shows, or that I’m going to be celebrating another birthday next week, or that I recently heard of an ex-colleague’s passing, I can’t escape the fact that it has come into bouncing into my head. So, as a means of moving beyond it, I’m going to fall back on writing therapy
There’s a scene in “When Harry Met Sally” where Harry (Billy Crystal’s character) is discussing death with Sally (Meg Ryan’s character) and boasting how he had spent “weeks, months” thinking about death and that it made him ready for the day whenever it happened.
It’s an interesting discussion point because it’s almost impossible to consider. How can you be ready for something that takes you away from your loved ones? Granted death is just the end of the road for our mortal coils and we all have to accept it and accept that those who live on will mourn our passing, but that doesn’t mean we can all feel that we’ve wrapped up everything we needed to and can move on.
Personally, I’m not afraid of death. I don’t believe everything just ends there. I see it as the “start” of a new journey. Who’s to say that our dying in this world/ life isn’t a childbirth into another life? If every physical object in our universe does not disappear but simply changes or transforms (like paper burns into ashes, for a quick example) why should who we are cease to exist? Why can’t we transform into something or someone else? That, however, is a discussion for another day. All I wanted to say is that for me, it’s not the end. It’s like moving to another country with no communications protocol (be it telephone or internet) back to where you were.
When you take away the “fear” of death, then you have nothing to fear from dying. But my not fearing death does not make me ready for it. Besides the truth that I don’t want to leave my family behind, that I don’t want them to go through the emotional turmoil of carrying on without me, I don’t want to die just yet. I love my life and everything around me. My family, my home, my career. It’s probably one of the best “time” in my life at the moment – where we’re able to actually enjoy the fruits of our very hard labor of the last few years. We still have so much more love to give and laughs to live for. Who would want to leave when there is so much happiness all around us?
When the time does come, sure, I’ll be “ready” in the sense that I won’t have a choice. Looking at it today, however, I hope that time doesn’t come for a long, long, time!